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Viewpoint The
Meaning of M.U.T.T. Continued
from page one... "Yeah," said Dudley, "because nobody wants us." "Balderdash!" Humphrey roared. "It's because we can hardly stand to part with you! Mutts are some of the most cherished members of the canine community." "If we're so great, what is a mutt?" Dudley asked suspiciously. "A mutt?...I can scarcely believe you don't know. A mutt is, well, it's an old...newfangled term meaning, let's see, how should I put this?...it's short for, uh...hmmm...yes! It stands for 'Magnificent Under-Touted Terrier' ... M.U.T.T." "Manigifent under-tooted terrier?! What's that?" Dudley asked, perking up his ears. "MAGNIFICENT under-TOWted terrier. Touted means 'praised and appreciated,'" Humphrey replied confidently. "Really? Is that true?" Dudley asked. "Absolutely. It's even written in the Good Book...Neuteronomy chapter 3, verse 16, I think." "Well, I'll be..." Dudley shook his head in wonder. "You mean that big boy in the next pen is a M.U.T.T., too?" "One of the rarest. That's a Lithuanian Liver-Spotted Lop Ear." "My! And that longhaired girl over there is also a M.U.T.T.?" "You've got a good eye - she's a, um... Moroccan Multi-colored Mongrel." "Whoa...that does sound unusual. And what about him?" Dudley asked, pointing to a little dog who almost defied description. "Him? Why he's a....a Chinese Curly-Q-tailed Cur." "Goodness! Do they know they are M.U.T.T.'s?" Dudley asked. "I'm sure they do," Humphrey said, lowering his voice. "But one of the distinguishing features of a M.U.T.T. is modesty - you don't want to brag all over the place and make the pedigreed dogs feel bad." "I see," Dudley said and shook his shaggy head. "Now then...it takes more than M.U.T.T. status to get out of here and into the right home. Do you do any tricks?" "Not really. I can have a 'conniption fit' - at least that's what my former owners used to call it." "You don't want to overdo it now. A modicum of restraint is called for," Humphrey cautioned. "Gee, you certainly use a lot of big words," Dudley said. "My former owner was a librarian. May she rest in peace," Humphrey said as his voice trailed off. "Oh...I'm sorry." "Never
you mind...I'm as content as a hound can be," Humphrey assured
him, trying not to look too hard at the concrete and wire that made
up his world, where lace curtains and a comfortable couch used to be. "Oh yes! I once killed a rat that was as big as a house!" Dudley boasted. Humphrey squinted his eyes a bit. "And you are honest aren't you?" "Absolutely!" Dudley assured him. "...err, actually it was most likely a really big mouse." "...and sincere?" Humphrey pressed him. "Quite. Um...the mouse was exceptionally big for his age," Dudley admitted. "Then that's that," Humphrey concluded. "I hear some humans headed this way...chin up, chest out, show 'em what you've got." And with that Humphrey marched off toward the office. The human couple hesitated in the doorway of the kennel for a moment...so many dogs to choose from. They started down the aisle, reading the cards attached to the pens, stopping to let dogs sniff their hands and to give them a scratch under the chin. They seemed kindhearted. "Look dear," the woman said. "Isn't that one handsome?" "Too big," the man answered. "He'd eat us out of house and home. I like the look of that one there," he said, pointing to one of the purebreds. "She is pretty, but too much grooming required," the woman said. "What's this little guy here?" she asked. "Him? That appears to be a genuine mutt." Dudley's ears pricked up in an instant. They were talking about him! >>> Graphics & text copyright Jim Willis 2001 - Used With Permission Click
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