Readers Respond: Saying goodbye to our pets with dignity

There's always that "what if" chance that tomorrow will be a better day, our pet really isn't that sick, or the appetite will come back. But usually, deep down, we do know when it is time, whether we can admit it or not.

How did you "know" it was time? Can you offer advice for coping with guilt or grief? Please share your tips. Help others with tips

Copper's snow day

Copper was a 14 year old Irish Setter that we saved from a his previous owner ready to put him down for allergies. He had a long and happy life with us of chasing bunnies and ducks, hopping in snow banks and lots of kisses. Recently he was diagnosed first with liver cancer and then with bone cancer. We forwent the specialists and oncologists as we knew he had led a wonderfully full life and it would only stress him. Over the past 3 months he went downhill fast and we knew the end was nearing. We spent every waking minute we could with him while we watched his weight drop, though his appetite never did, then his mind went he would bark for no reason. It was long and hard, but the time we had left we knew was precious. We woke one morning to find him with paralysis and made the hard decision. We took him to the vet, said our goodbyes and held him through the whole thing so he wouldn't be scared. He left us knowing he was adored. Two days before, it snowed, Copper got one last snow day!

—Guest Miracle Snow!

Henry

My cat Henry died this morning, in his sleep. I've known he was dying for at least a year. He had signs of early renal failure on the last test I could afford for him (I've been unemployed for nearly a year) and he was almost 19. He weighed maybe five pounds at the end, down from his top weight of 12 pounds. He was skin and bones. I could not afford treatment. I made an appointment to have him put down, but he beat me to it. I am grateful to him for saving me the agonizing decision, but I wonder if he suffered. I know I put it off too long. The last few days of his life he wanted nothing more than to be with me. I spent the last night of his life, last night, watching him sleep beside me, wondering which breath would be his last. This morning I put him in a box with a soft warm sweater and a heating pad, and went to get coffee and turn on my computer. When I checked him an hour later, he was dead. I buried him in the back yard. putting him in the ground He was a fine cat indeed.

—Guest tabbycat

Wally's Story

Wally was 13 1/2 when diagnosed w/ congestive heart failure. He was such a spirited dog that I knew it would likely come down to me having to put him to sleep to spare him suffering. I kept him medicated for 6 months trying to ease his pain & trying to determine his quality of life. He did seem to have good days & bad days like they say, although toward the end it seemed he was mostly just having a few good moments in what seemed to be a permanent bad cycle. I decided I would let food be my guide but even then I was not sure that was the best indicator for him- He seemed to be in constant distress over breathing w/ most of his days spent pacing and unable to rest comfortably. He also quit sleeping up on the bed opting for the floor next to it. He soon wanted to spend all of his time outside, I think because he could breathe better. We got to a point where he spent the night outside, was eating less & seemed so out of routine & unhappy that I made the appointment. He died peacefully.

—Guest lucky to have had him

Saying goodbye to our pets with dignity

Zoie was 13 1/2 year old Choc Lab with hip displaysia & severe arthritis. But, she was independent with a strong spirit so she kept moving. Since April of this year, Zoie seemed to change. Over the next few months, Zoie was having trouble moving. In the last few days, this escalated to not being able to go down the steps at all without falling at the bottom. I allowed her to eliminate on the deck. She didn't take to this well but nature has a way of winning out in these things. Zoie stopped sleeping on the bed with me & slept on the floor next to my side of the bed. One night, she wanted to come up into bed & did for a few minutes. Soon, too soon, she went down to the floor to sleep. This morning I looked at Zoie and I just could not bear to see her get any worse - her spirit was starting to fade & she looked tired. For the only time, she cried with pain. I asked the vet to tranquilize her & I said my goodbyes. She gently closed her eyes and I left her. She is with me always.

—ZoiesSecret