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Janet Tobiassen Crosby, DVM

Poll: Have you experienced "pet loss guilt"?

By August 18, 2009

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Pets depend on us for food, shelter, protection and general well being. This, coupled with the fact that they can't talk, may create a situation of extra stress and guilt when we are unsure of what they need or how they are feeling.

The article, "Dealing with guilt -- did I do everything I could?" discussed tips and resources for dealing with the guilt that is often associated with pet loss and grief. Guilt can also be experienced when a pet is ill or if a pet owner is unable to spend as much time with the pet(s) as s/he would like.

Poll:
Have you experienced "pet owner guilt" in your life?

Readers Respond:
How did you "know" it was time? Can you offer advice for coping with guilt or grief?
Please share your tips here.

Additional Resources for Information and Coping:
Saying Goodbye - Resources for learning about euthanasia, how to know when it is "time," and pet loss and grief


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Comments

September 2, 2010 at 10:13 pm
(1) michelle says:

I’ve been searching and looking all kinds of pet loss sites and articles since my baby, Carnie( 13 & a half years) died, last 7/30/10. I can’t get over her death because I know she could been alive if I took her to the Hospital 5-6 months ago. It’s not that matter of what if(?) It’s a fact that I killed her out of my dull, ignorant and heedless. I know nothing is going to change no matter what. Only the way is I’ll reunite her in Heaven when my times up. I know the fact what’s real on the Earth. I know grieving, crying, hating myself etc. None of those help anything but I can’t help myself! I don’t know when I’m going to able to stop all this maybe until I see her again and I don’t care because I’m a bad mommy I deserve crying all the time. My last dumbest thing was I left my baby at Emergency and came home regardless I was numb since she got so sick all of sudden on 7/29/10 and vet. called me next morning. I couldn’t finish his talking. I collapsed! It haunts me everyday, every moment I wasn’t next her holding her tell her that I love you before she died and I know she was looking for her mommy before she become unconscious. How can I get out of guilt or dealing with? I prayed so hard so much for God’s miracle holding her dead body until cremated her( I didn’t do anything for her so I just couldn’t give up on her like that) She didn’t look any different to me even if she was frozen and stiff I held her until she start warm. I really wish God would help me bring her back to the life if I tried hard and pray so I went back to the Hospital for 4 days held her in my arms prayed so hard asking for a miracle but He decide to take her and keep her in Heaven. I can’t do anything for her now except crying. I know she forgive me because she loves me too much but I can’t forgive myself that I’m such a useless mommy. Even though She will bark,bark,bark, jump,jump,jump with her unique move until I pick her up hold her and tell her “its Ok.” when she sees me at the Bridge. I just want to see her tell her that I’m sorry, I love you and I miss you!

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